Isolation With A Chronic Illness

2 years ago i had a pretty good social life, i had friends who i could call anytime and hang out with. But recently i have never felt so alone. At the beginning of this year, I lost a lot of my friends, i still had some but not that many. I couldn't attend school very often so it made it hard to make friends and have a good relationship with them. I was doing okay though, wasn't complaining that much. 

But around February, i dropped out of school, my illness became too much and i couldn't attend anymore. Thats when i lost most of my friends. Remember i had little to begin with and now i am down to 2 or 3 okay friends who would sometimes text me asking how i was. Slowly they stopped interacting with me at all. Except one person who still called me about once a week. I was SO grateful for her, i had never had such a good friend who cared about me. 

Eventually, i lost her too. She stopped calling and started making plans to hang out with me then ditching me without telling me to go to parties and things i couldn't do. (Not that i was invited anyways) That was the hardest thing, watching her slowly slip away too. I was still getting the rare text once in a while still checking on me, until those texts stopped too. 

Now, i am all alone. I still have my mom and my dog who love me and i am entirely grateful for that. Its still really hard, going through this with no support from any friends at all. I have never felt so alone, i have never BEEN so alone. Its nice to have family but having friends you can talk about different things you wouldn't talk about to your parents. I no longer can have those girl talks with my friends. I have been completely abandoned. 

I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. Being ill is hard enough but having no support from any friends makes it harder. 

I just wish i could be better so i could start making new friends and build good relationships with them and feel loved and cared about by people other than your mom. 

To be completely honest, this showed me i didn't have good friends to begin with anyways, what type of "best friend" leaves you when i needed someone the most? Maybe in the end this will be a good thing, maybe it was supposed to happen to show me i needed new friends and i didn't have very good ones. I just hope i can somehow make new ones and i'm not sure how to even do that right now. Being bedridden makes it pretty difficult to meet new people...